Having heard so much about Archive of our Own (which I'm not a member of - not sure if I want another site to update), I decided to see if any Final Fantasy XII girlslash fic had been uploaded.

The good news: Final Fantasy XII is, at this time, the most popular gaming fandom on there with 64 fics.

The bad news: only 2 of those fics are tagged as having f/f pairings - and one of those is a crossover.

In other words, if I want Final Fantasy XII girlslash, I'm going to have to write it myself.

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Seriously, is it really that hard to get subtitles right?

I don't know if it's a fault with the people who code the subtitles, the broadcaster, or the digital TV company, but having subtitles just show up for a fraction of a second (barely long enough to notice, nevermind read) isn't actually useful. If it happens on a big programme (it's happened on both Merlin and Doctor Who this week, for example), it's nearly always sorted by the time the programme gets repeated (normally less than a week later), so I have no idea where the problem actually is.

(This happened loads with last night's Doctor Who special - so much so that I ended up making up my own story. It was probably pretty similar to the actual story, but with much more swearing and a rendition of Craig David's "Walking Away".)

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There is a mouse in my room.

Wait, that's not strictly true. Either there is a mouse in my room, or I am starting to hear things again. The last time I started hearing things (and the two times before that), I ended up having a nervous breakdown. Having been through enough breakdowns in my life, I don't think anyone can blame me for going with the mouse theory. After all, I'm not scared of mice.

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Random fact of the day: I've never had a bad Friday the 13th. Okay, so I've dealt with low points on those days, but they've always started prior to the actual day, and therefore do not count. I have, however, had some horrible Saturday the 14ths, and last Thursday the 12th was a disaster.

I'm thinking about cutting some people from my LJ flist - namely people who update regularly, but I never actually talk to, because we have so little in common. Part of me also wants to subscribe to more people on DW, but I need to get into the habit of commenting on the journals I'm already subscribing to first. I guess I'm just scared of how I'll come across to some people, especially right now.

Talking of Dreamwidth, I still have invites. Just sayin'.

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I'm going to start posting random facts about me on the days that I can't come up with an actual post. Because reading about my depression can't be fun.

So today's fact is: I own no yellow clothing.

(I've only just realised that this may be a shortcoming - when you're wearing blue knickers and a red bra, you really need a pair of yellow socks.)


Also, a poll to check whether I'm the only person who thinks a certain way - brought to you by the power of creepy Twilight merch.

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I was going to tell you about my day, but I'm going to bed instead. It's been that kind of day.

(The fact that I have soft bedsheets and warm pajamas waiting for me has had no effect on this decision at all.)


[Edit] I swear, I will comment to journals and stuff when I'm feeling a bit better, and I'm hugely sorry to the few people who I have commented to over the last few days for generally not making much sense.

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When I'm dealing with a low point I try to do positive things, so I ended up watching an animal rescue programme featuring a pot-bellied piglet. Unfortunately, the channel showing it never has subtitles available, which is how I ended up hearing the phrase "bacon sandwich" twice in three minutes, even though it was probably never actually said.

I'm a vegetarian, honest!

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I don't understand why my head's being like this. I mean, I'm used to having lows, but not this bad. I can't seem to pull myself out of it at all, and part of me's wondering if I'd be better off coming off the meds, which isn't good at all because I've been on these for over ten months and they've been working pretty well all that time, and I've never so much as questioned whether they're useful to me. And yet the only time I've ever been this bad is when I've just started new meds or been completely off them.

This is such a bad place to be in right now.

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Today I've got pissed off at a post in an LJ community, removed myself from several other LJ communities, got rid of my filters on both DW and LJ, gone through and tagged all the entries that used to be filtered, made all of those entries public, and paid my phone bill.

In other words, I've done very little today.

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red_trillium, the founder of arrow_rest, describes himself as "a man of many interests and few talents". I'd say that he's just an ordinary guy with an extraordinarily large heart, and I'm not just saying that because he bought me my Dreamwidth account.

kanata, the guy behind the transfic masterlist, has such a great outlook on life. He also has a tendency to review fic, candy and any books he can, which comes in really useful if you're as indecisive as me.

aqrima is a young woman trying to navigate the prejudice and privilege prevalent at university and the world at large. She's also an iconmaker over at tartlyours when she gets the time.

metaquotes is just getting started, and luckily the mods don't believe that rape jokes can be anything but offensive. That doesn't mean that the community will be safe at all times, but there's a good chance that if you point out a problematic post to a mod, they're not likely to laugh at you for doing so.




FWD/Forward is the most inclusive feminist blog I've seen so far. It mostly deals with the intersections between feminism and disability issues, but they seem to be pretty inclusive. The Dreamwidth feed is disabledfeminists_feed.

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Yesterday my granddad aggravated an old back injury. So that he could rest up, I did the food shopping alone today.

Oh yeah, that was such a good idea /sarcasm

Because I had some trouble trying to make some sense of all the noise around me, I missed about half the stuff on the list (yes, I made a list, and ticked stuff off when I'd got it, and I still managed to miss stuff - I'm just that good), and kinda ended up in Starbucks. Yeah, dark cherry mocha happened and I don't blame me for it, that's for sure. Although it nearly didn't happen - Costa have come up with a creme brule latte, and part of me was so tempted to find out what that's meant to be.

I didn't do too badly though, I guess. I mean, I came back with stuff that can make several meals, and I didn't buy much in the way of snacks (STARMIX!), so we'll call it a win, yeah?

I would write more, but I'm scared of fireworks, and the neighbours have decided to start setting them off, and I keep dropping my phone, so I will stop here.

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I should really write things down as they happen, because I keep forgetting things that I want to write about.

For example, on Friday I ended up on a bus with that guy who asked me out back in April (and his friend). Basically, because he asked me out on the 1st before noon, I thought he did it as an April Fool's joke. Yeah, apparently not. Poor guy actually likes me, if the fact that he would not hear a word against me is anything to go by (he really wouldn't - he looked horrified when I said that I'm all sorts of messed up, and his friend agreed with me (we've talked about us both having depression before, so it's okay)). It's nice, I think, to know that someone likes me that way. But damn, I am so not ready for anything like that, especially from someone I don't know all that well (we've talked all of ten times, if that). I need to be able to trust people more for that, or maybe just have someone I already trust like me (because that's as easy as it sounds). Also, he doesn't know about my sexuality and gender and if I don't feel comfortable telling him about that, I can't see that working out.

Talking about gender, I had one of those brilliant moments at the weekend. You know how some children call their parents' close friends "uncle" or "auntie"? Well, neither of those labels really fit, not with the whole genderqueer thing. So me, James and Patrick were talking about all the things we want to do for any children they might have in the future, when I realised that I had no idea what they would actually call me. To which Patrick replied that they'd already thought about it, and that they could call me "auncle" (pronounced "ankle"). You guys, they actually thought about it before I mentioned it \o/!

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So, yesterday was all sorts of things.

For example, yesterday was Dreamwidth's first Follow Friday (damned_colonial's idea, as seen here in the comments to the last dw_news post). I may have totally missed it due to being busy. Oh well, I can start next week, right?

Also, yesterday I got more icon spaces on Dreamwidth AND less icon spaces on LiveJournal. I could not have timed that any better if I'd actually tried, seriously. Which means it's messing around with icons time! \o/ I love looking at people's icons, for no good reason. Personally, I think that triggerhappy777 as the best taste in icons of anyone I know (which reminds me - Kate, do you still have that entite icon, and can I steal it?), but the single best icon I've seen lately would be aqrima's current default (which I would love to take (with credit!), but won't because I don't like taking people's default icons unless they're really okay with it - there's often something very personal about people's default icons, because it often symbolises them/their username or is something they really deeply connect to).

All squeeing about icons aside, I'm slightly upset with myself about my icons. ( Yep, I can rant about my own icons! )

TL;DR - I need more diversity in my icons, stat. Not that I've made many myself lately. Must do more of that.

Another thing that yesterday was was Eddie Izzard gig in Newcastle day. It was pretty awesome, except for the bits where Patrick couldn't come along and my left knee sort of... locked? Seized up? I'm not sure what you call it, but sometimes it just does not and will not bend, and then when it does finally decide to bend again it is very painful. The gig itself, however, was much fun, probably mostly because he really knows how to play his audience - yes, he totally managed to get a random "covered in bees" reference in, and then had to explain to half of the audience why the other half cheered when he said it. Epic.

(Note to self: ninja spartan dreamsheep. You know you want to somehow make that icon.)

Yesterday was all sorts of things, but today is me staying in my sexy pajamas (ironic name is ironic) and catching up on comments.

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It is dark. It is not light. I am on a bus. I am on a four-wheeled road vehicle that carries many people. The bus is going to Newcastle. It is going to a city in the north-east of England, situated on the north bank of the river Tyne, population 273,600.

This entry was going to be longer, but I have a headache. My head hurts, probably because the bus is going too fast and I'm on the top deck. It might also be because I'm hugely out of practice when it comes to talking like the Superdictionary.

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Is it bad that I still want a copy of And Tango Makes Three?

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Now here's a question: how does a stray dog get into a locked down garden?

I mean, all the fences are over 6 foot tall. I know there are gaps in our garden gate, which would explain it if we were talking about a young puppy or a small breed of dog, but we're not. We're talking about something that managed to pin me to the wall. My granddad reckons that she's part dalmatian, but she's much bulkier than that already, and I'm not entirely convinced that she's fully grown.

So my granddad's trying to find out if she has an owner (because she has a collar, but no tags), and I... have run off. In case you can't tell, I'm a cat person, not a dog person. I don't appreciate being rammed against surfaces, being jumped on, or being hit in the face by a paw that's bigger than the palm of my hand (bitch slapped, if you will) while trying to eat breakfast.

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For those of you who don't know, my morning net routine starts with me catching up on Twitter - I don't know why, but that's how it goes right now. And I didn't get past the first tweet before bursting into tears.

Yeah, the first thing I read today made me cry. For about an hour.

Honestly, it's not a bad thing, because that tweet was a link to these cards and... well, I think I needed that today.

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