The journal of fail...

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 11:41:08 GMT

We're iced in. Not snowed in, iced in. As in no-one can get out of their house without ending up on their arse. Much fun.

So now seems like a good time to catch you up on what's been happening. Which, actually, isn't much. There's been food, and a few presents, and a lot of alcohol for people who aren't me. And one lonely paper hat because, despite the fact that we have enough crackers to blow up the house, only me and my grandad felt like pulling one - I won a padlock, for the record, and there was no joke.

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

Ho ho ho!

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 00:01:07 GMT

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

Quick note:

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:35:55 GMT

While my sister's here (which she will be any minute), if you really want to talk to me either call/text me (if you have my number) or direct message me on twitter (same username as here) - I'll still be checking my emails/comments when I can, but the DMs are texted right to my phone, so I'll be able to get them at any time.

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

... And the ugly.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:12:28 GMT

My sister and her husband are arriving tomorrow.

"You've not mentioned this before!" I hear you cry. No, I haven't. That would be because I thought that they were coming on Thursday. I thought I would have actual time to get things ready. NOT THE CASE.

I'm so screwed. And yet, I still find time to find new earrings especially for Christmas.

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

... The bad...

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:32:57 GMT

Some people are really evil.

It's hard enough shopping in the snow (or, more accurately, slush) when you're using a stick, without people being ridiculous. For example, complaining loudly that I'm walking slowly won't make me walk any faster and, considering the slush and me having a stick, will only serve to make you look like a prat.

And then there was this conversation, which I never expected to have:

Random Passerby In Bus Station: Didn't you get pushed headfirst into a shop window an hour ago?
Me: Yes, yes I did.

I am okay, for those who want to know, and so is the shop window. I think my stick may have come into contact with one of the boys' legs, and I'm not going to apologise for that. Unfortunately, it did put an end to my shopping :(

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

The good...

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 16:04:37 GMT

I managed to do a whole row of knitting without making any mistakes! I don't know how long it actually is, because I keep losing count of the stitches. How long do you reckon it could be, seeing as I was casting on for about 45mins?

I also managed to move all my fic to angelikittentreats and delete my facebook while I was at the library \o/

PS: There's a good chance I'll be spamming your dwircle/flist with short posts today, because I don't have time to sit down and write one long one. Or watching The Muppet's Christmas Carol, whichever you want to believe. Sorry in advance!

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

Yep, I'm still alive...

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 15:26:13 GMT

I could post an entry about how I fell over (again) on Friday (I got several snowballs thrown at me by more than one group of teenage boys, while I was using my stick, and one of them caught me off balance), or about how I spent most of yesterday crying (because depression is lovely like that), or about how the headache I woke up with this morning seems to be turning into something worse (the painkillers aren't even touching it, but I can just about deal with it if I stay lying down). But that would be boring (and involve looking at the screen for longer than I'm prepared to right now).

So why don't I just show you some snow instead?

(That's the view from my front room window, covered in about 4 inches of snow, in case you're wondering.)

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

Possibly the best present ever?

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:25:00 GMT

I think this might just prove just how easily impressed and amused I am once and for all.

Yes, that is a banana milkshake flavoured, milk carton shaped lip balm.

(I think this also proves that Lauren is a master present buyer.)

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

I think the fail is following me...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:14:36 GMT

Tonight's Buzzcocks episode was fantastic. I haven't laughed so hard in ages.

However.

What's with the ablism Phill Jupitus? Yes, Robbie Williams has dealt with mental illness (most notably depression). That doesn't mean you have to make "crazy" jokes about him. Everyone else had enough material to work with without sinking as low as you did.

But what do I know? I only deal with a mental illness, after all.

(I should point out that the main reaction shot to Jupitus' remarks was of David Tennant, who looked like he was wearing one hell of a masking smile. The last time I smiled at someone like that, I was thinking about how much I would like to hit them. Just sayin'.)

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

The indecisive one makes some decisions...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:36:45 GMT

Decision #1: About LiveJournal

After yesterday, I've had enough of that place. I really have. But at the same time, I don't want to leave my friends. So, I've come to a compromise, which includes:

Moving everything (or everything worth keeping) from random_stuffs to angelikittentreats
Following crossposters (people who crosspost most things from Dreamwidth to LiveJournal) exclusively on Dreamwidth
Stop following most LJ communities

I will still crosspost and allow comments there for now, as well as keeping an eye on my flist (which I might not check as often as my dwircle), but I don't know how/if that will change in the future.

Decision #2: About Facebook

As soon as I can make sure I have copies of all the photos I put up on Facebook, I am out of there. I don't use it, so I don't see why I should keep it. Also, for something I don't use, it seems to be causing me a lot of heartache. I don't need queerphobes from my past trying to talk to me when they haven't actually changed, nor do I need arseholes deciding to tell everyone that I'm insane just because we don't agree on some small little thing. Do not want, will not have, buh-bye.

I'm going to try to sort out both of these by December 31st, so that I can start the New Year without them hanging over my head.

While I'm here, I'd like to give a shout out to everyone who was so nice yesterday about LJ's genderfail. I read some genuinely lovely posts and comments yesterday (including some on my network) which made me feel so accepted for who and what I am, despite most of the world not having cottoned on to that idea yet. I might make a more detailed post about that later if I remember, but I wanted to make sure I said a big THANK YOU to everyone who was so wonderful about it ♥

people made me happy by replying to the original entry at Dreamwidth.

0% fail, 100% fun!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 20:37:03 GMT

After yet another day o'fail, let's have a little fun!

Pick one of my icons, and I'll tell you something about it: why I use it, why I like it, or even why I made it (if I made it myself).

[ My Dreamwidth icons are more up-to-date than my LiveJournal icons (most of which are inactive), so I'm likely to like them more. I'll talk about either though.]

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Oh LJ...

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:58:31 GMT

LiveJournal's making a change to the gender setting on the profile page.

* Gender will be a mandatory field at account creation.

* LiveJournal is removing the Unspecified option for the gender field. That's right: you get to be male or female. Period. That's it. (Source.)

I... I don't even have words to explain how much this hurts me. And it does hurt, because I can't see what good limiting the gender option does at all, especially if the information is staying private.

It's probably silly of me to be crying about this, but I just don't need this shit right now.

(For those who'd like suggestions on how to deal with this, this post has some ideas, which is where I found out about it.)

[Edit] Apparently the change is not going through (edit at the bottom of the page). I don't trust this. elf explains why better than I can.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

flops

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:41:59 GMT

I'm not entirely sure I want to talk about the last few days, because every time I think I'm doing okay, something brings me right down. For example: yesterday, me and my walking stick managed to get around a huge supermarket without falling over or collapsing even once. Today I try to do the same thing around town, and I nearly fall over while trying to get off a chair. I don't mind falling, but I damn well did not need to be laughed at by strangers for it.

I am going to have a good relationship with this walking stick. I'm adamant about this (partly because it's not the stick that makes me fall over, it's whatever's wrong with my back, so there's no real reason to hate the stick). So I tried to make a walking stick icon. I only found one picture I liked (but not love, which is a shame), but now I have 8 versions of the same icon, and I really can't choose one...

View poll: Icon help

PS: Yes, my walking stick tag could be better/funnier/make more sense, but no ready-made puns about walking sticks come to mind.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:57:13 GMT

Now Brain, we need to talk.

I thought we had an agreement. In addition to the nights of too many thinky-thoughts and ridiculous nightmares, you get one "sleepless" night a month, where you get to do whatever you want. The only rule is that, at around half 5 in the morning, you let me sleep for 1-2 hours so that both you and I can be alert the next day, and everyone's happy.

So, what the hell happened last night, Brain darling?

There was a lot of reading, and that was fun. It wasn't the same as reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy in 6 days, or the 5 book-a-thon we had a few months ago, but it was still enjoyable, and I would very much do it again.

But you broke the rule. The only rule. And now, nearly 37 hours after I was last asleep, my body is screaming in agony. You thought you'd got away with it, seeing as I'd been pretty much fine all day. But no. My body isn't used to this, so it doesn't know where its limits are - it just kept going along, and then suddenly pain! out of nowhere. Pain and very heavy limbs. And blurred vision.

And so Brain, I say unto you: you sir, are a git. Don't you ever do this to me again.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

This pain in my back is becoming a pain in the arse.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:40:28 GMT

Guess who's having to use a walking stick again?

(Well, it's either that or limp in an increasingly unbalanced fashion, while trying to walk in a less-painful way, until I fall over. There is no shame in falling over, but having to get back up again is starting to get annoying. That, and my doctor would much rather I not fall over as much, at least until she can find out what's wrong with my back.)

In case you were wondering, here's a photo of the walking stick I'm using and a close up of the handle. It was made for my great-grandmother (I think?) and is practically an antique. I probably shouldn't use it. I do love it though, always have.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Ow.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:24:11 GMT

So, yesterday I had this big List of Things To Be Done. Only I tripped and my foot started hurting again (from that accident thing back on February 12th, where it turned out it was just a ligament? Yeah, that.), and then my back did something (I'm not sure what happened, but I woke up one day at the end of October, and my lower back hurt, like I'd done something to the nerve, and since then it's been painful on and off - the pain also affects the top of my left leg, making walking much harder), so I didn't even leave the house. No, not even for the Christmas party that that place I volunteer at was having.

Anyway, woke up this morning at 4am-ish. About 6am-ish I gave up on the idea of sleep and continued catching up on YU+ME: dream (managed pages 181 to 493 - if anyone else is reading it, talk to me if there's any chance you could do me a favour), and about 9am-ish I decided that, not having been in any pain up until that point, going into town and getting things done would be okay.

Word to the wise: Buses - do not trust them. I probably would have been okay if I hadn't have ended up sat awkwardly on an overpacked bus. And I wouldn't be so annoyed about it if people hadn't have been giving me those looks that say "You should give someone else your seat because you're young", especially when I ended up falling off the bus instead of walking off it. Luckily, I have very little pride about the whole staying upright thing, otherwise I might have bruised it.

You know what was top of my List of Things To Do yesterday? Buy painkillers.

(None of this really matters, because I'm slightly in love with my icon.)

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Attention everyone:

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:45:23 GMT

I love my Dreamwidth layout.

That is all.

(My LiveJournal layout is pretty similar, but I like the Dreamwidth one more. With the amount of time I've spent messing around with the code to get it how it is, I'd better damn well like it.)

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:22:14 GMT

I'm actually quite happy with how my Christmas cards are turning out - I could even say I'm slightly impressed with them. I have no idea how I'm going to do better than this next year. I probably shouldn't even try.

I should, somehow, figure out how to print them without causing a paper jam every two minutes.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

WIN!

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:09:27 GMT

Anyone wanna know what I just got delivered to my door?

I call them the Flashy Ducks, because flashing's what they do:

Excuse me while I go play with them for the rest of my life.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:52:16 GMT

Reason #5827469 why I love Eddie Izzard:

Visited the London Olympic Stadium. Took video but will post later. Anyway, 1000 days to the opening of the Para Olympics. I aim to be there
[source]

Okay, so 1000 days to the Paralympics sounds better than 967 days to the Olympics, but the Paralympics don't get anywhere near as much press, and... I can't explain it, but this is ace, okay? I've had a bad day, and this is the ace-ist thing I can think of to post.

(Bad things that happened today included breaking my computer, breaking one of the bank's computers, having to talk to a cashier who's speakers & microphone weren't working, having to carry out a bank transaction via mime (due to lack of speakers & microphone), and hurting my back while doing mime. It was a very energetic mime.)

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Sometimes, I just ain't that clever...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:46:26 GMT

It's cold. It's really not warm at all. So what do I do? I start making animated snow icons again (if you're reading this on dreamwidth, you may have already noticed). I sound even more clever when I say I've started on my winter layouts.

So, to make this a hat-trick of not clever... If you want animated snow on any of your icons, send them over. If you can email them to me as a zip/rar file, it will probably get them done faster, as my phone doesn't like downloading actual images. If you can't, I'll probably be able to use the library computers to download them, but I can't promise when I'll be able to get on them.

[This is going to sound slightly awkward, but... Did someone ask for some icons of a woman in a big black floppy hat? Because I came up with some bases, and then forgot who they were for. And then I forgot that I'd made them, until I started on the snow icons. I'm still not clever.]

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Oh shit, it's an entry - get in the car!

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:00:16 GMT

Nothing much has happened over the last few days. Today however, I learnt three new things:

I learnt that I have a build-up of fluid behind my left eardrum, so now I have to take a nasal spray in the hope that it'll help drain some of it. It'd better, because this spray is horrible.

I went to my introduction-to-therapy, where I learnt that I'll be starting Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in two weeks time. Not that I have any idea what will actually happen, but that's life.

There is a company that makes yogurt that is called NOM Dairy.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

And there ain't no prayer that's going to save you now...

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 13:33:56 GMT

It's not okay.

It's not being able to think fast enough. It's barely being able think at all. It's the words existing, but they're not there when I reach for them. It's walking into a room and not being able to remember why I went in there - every single time. It's being in a room with a hundred people, and still feeling alone. It's not being able to find my way around my own house. It's playing a game that I played brilliantly only yesterday, but today I'm struggling. It's knowing I'm never good enough, and that everyone knows it.

It's depression, and God knows I'm not coping with it right now.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

You're right - there is another way.

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 11:37:55 GMT

Dear bank I bank at,

Why do you hate me? I know I'm not your best customer, but you have made a lot of money out of me by way of fees in the past, so it balances out. You know my logic makes sense here.

All that aside, why do you keep insisting that I need to be signed up to telephone banking? I asked you to take my telephone number off your records months ago (which it turns out you didn't, thanks for that) because I can't hear properly. I can just about understand people over the phone if I try, but it's tiring and I make a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that I really can't afford to make when banking.

Can't you do something about this, like maybe putting a note on my file saying that I can't hear properly or something? Anything so that I don't have to explain it every single time I go into the branch. It wouldn't just help me - it would save several of your cashiers from having to hear me complain about it (the one I saw today went from having body language which said "stop whinging" to "oh shit, sorry!" so fast when I said I couldn't hear properly, it was almost funny. Almost.).

No love,
Me

Crossposted to hard_of_hearing - I'm not advertising the community, I swear.

more comments over at Dreamwidth!

Owww.

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:04:10 GMT

I'm covered in bees!

...You know, if by "covered in" you mean "dealing with", and by "bees" you mean "the mother and father of all colds". It's the same basic principle.

My grandad keeps hinting that it might be flu. It's not. It's not because I say it's not. Or, at least, I'd say it's not, but my voice disappeared yesterday, so speaking's kinda off the table. As is typing for too long, because there's a lot of ouch going on (and half of my right foot keeps falling asleep, which I don't understand at all).

So, in conclusion: I'm covered in bees, do not have the flu, and will reply to comments and entries when I can keep hold of my phone for more than 5 minutes at a time.

(For the record, I'll concede that I have flu when it's annoying enough that I want to kill someone, but totally lack the energy to do so.)

more comments over at Dreamwidth!